i just wanna say,

<3 the snow!~

the poster and all is finally over.

these days, it’s just a lot of light entertainment with online drama. and stealing time with my boy.

my life is kept to a minimum. I’m not complaining about restrictions, life is just simple and good.

i shop less, buy less, dress less, but think more and work more. i enjoy my work and i strive to keep it going.

no, it does not mean it’s going all so smooth. but after getting a pretty shitty promoter job, i cherish the time at the lab even more. after my mentor is gone, i cherish the friend in him even more. now my boy is working hard and so am i, i cherish the time we have even more. i cherish my friends, even with the little time i spent with them.

i talk less, but with each love i see, i talk more because i love more.

there is nothing great, but there is nothing bad.

I am looking forward to a nice and warm christmas, with many hugs and love.

have a merry christmas to all!

love,

charon

i’ve been crying again.

the strangest, though not the most unpredictable things make me cry.

it’s been a tough semester, and it’s because, i’ve been starting to want a dream to come true.

maybe it was the bad past tagging onto me, maybe i’ve just not been putting my all, enough.

when one good thing happens, another bad one pairs along. maybe like someone said, life is not smooth-sailing.

i just look forward to the day, where things work out in a right direction, whether it means i have what i want.

but for just now, i still strive to want.

and for all, here’s something to take away,

to be kind to others is not being cruel to yourself. it is the ones who gives others second chances, that deserves chances.

be kind to others, and be kind to yourself too.

I’m excited finally a break is coming. Been studying too much and too long. And I do feel I missed out alot on lab. Haiz. Many ups and downs this week. Sometimes some things that seem insignificant can become significant with time, and of coz it happens the other way round.

I dunno why, but when I’m in lab I really have random mood swings. Suddenly I do get upset but I recover fast. Sometimes I think I nail on the small things too much. It’s not too good, especially when it affects other ppl, but well sometimes, I just can’t help it.

I’m not a cheery cheery person though I might appear crazy. And I can go deep easily, which might make conversations with me go too much for ppl who cannot get it. Yet I value friendships, and hope ppl enjoy me as much as I enjoy them. But seems I’m always a bad investor. Maybe it’s meant to be, I just shouldn’t harp on it. Oh well.

Now striving for my research work is more impt to me I guess. I really just want to do it well. Because it’s really becoming a part of me and something I do enjoy doing. I know it sounds insane to many people but, yah it’s TRUE. haha. And I do hope for a better life with me and DF.

Alrights. That’s it for now.

there is a love, that leaves a form of regret because only after u lose it, u ask urself why didn’t u give ur all till the end.

I knew what the video (Going Home) was about. And I chose to watch it. What I wasn’t prepared for, is how much it would have reminded me of the pain of losing my grandma to this uncurable or almost unpreventable illness. And how unknowingly I have neglected her throughout the years, when she was there in the most important parts of my childhood. And how much love she put into my life, just like the grandma in the movie with the chicken rice dying to bring home for her grandchild.

I cried, really hard. The pain is more real, than the pain of all other relationships.

and because the pain is real, the regret is real, the love for her is real.

I need to love my family more. Especially the next woman in my life, like my grandma.

如果我说 爱我没有如果
错过就过 你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那是不是有一点弱

有人说
世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死
而是我就站在你面前 你却不知道我爱你
我常说
如果人类连爱一个人都被自己绑住
那世界末日已来到
不需要等到地球毁灭掉的那天

如果我说 爱我没有如果
真的爱我 就放手一搏
还想什么 还怕什么
快牵起我的手

如果我说 爱我没有如果
错过就过 你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那是不是有一点弱

如果我说 爱我没有如果
真的爱我 就放手一搏
还想什么 还怕什么
快牵起我的手

如果 如果 如果 如果 如果
最后变成如果 我也不能接受
错过 错过 错过 错过 错过
我比你更难过 不会一错再错
嗯 这次不要再轻易错过

我常说
如果人类连爱一个人都被自己绑住
那世界末日已来到
不需要等到地球毁灭掉的那天

别怕太快乐(别怕太快乐)
别怕失去我~~

如果我说 爱我没有如果
错过就过 你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那是不是有一点弱

如果我说 爱我没有如果
真的爱我 就放手一搏
还想什么 还怕什么
快牵起我的手

快牵起我的手

如果我说 爱我没有如果
错过就过 你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那是不是有一点弱

如果我说 爱我没有如果
真的爱我 就放手一搏
还想什么 还怕什么
快牵起我的手

如果我说 爱我没有如果
错过就过 你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那是不是有一点弱

如果我说 爱我没有如果
真的爱我 就放手一搏
还想什么 还怕什么
快牵起我的手

如果我说 爱我没有如果
错过就过 你是不是会难过
若如果拿来当借口
那是不是有一点弱

如果我说 爱我没有如果
真的爱我 就放手一搏
还想什么 还怕什么
快牵起我的手

Was in a foreign place I presumed was China. I cannot exactly rem what happened… then after that I appeared at what I made out to be a near an NUS bus stop. Met a stranger on the bus who was holding onto NMR tubes ( see how much I misss lab… “_”) who was quite muscular. And I kinda heard from his friend like he is doing boxing? strange. I myself was holding onto 4 NMR tubes with this pale orange brown samples. And suddenly as the bus was moving fast, the caps just popped out. And I fell right to the back of the bus. And dunno why it just ended up with a conversation of whether we were both ppl who did chemistry.

 And the next moment I was in his car, and I dunno why the hell his hand was on my waist, but more of like an “accident”. Which after he was like, actually you look “…” some english word I rem I don’t understand. So he explained that he feels I am too thin? which was definitely kind of riddiculous. And he says I should look healthier… ( I guess at this moment I am quite sure he doesn’t know what he is saying)

The last moment I was in a supermarket buying food.

To dream that you are riding a bus, implies that you are going along with the crowd. You are lacking originality and are taking no control over where your life is taking.

To see or use chemicals in your dream, signifies that you are undergoing some transformation and individuation process.

To see a stranger in your dream, signifies a part of yourself that is repressed and hidden. Alternatively, it symbolizes the archetypal dream helper who is trying to offer some insight and advice.  

To see a chemist at work in your dream, indicates your ability to change and alter your Self.

To dream that you fall and are not frightened, signifies that you will overcome your adversities with ease.   

To dream that you fall and are frightened, indicates a lack of control, insecurity, and/or lack of support in your waking life. You may be experiencing some major struggle and/or overwhelming problem. It may denote that you have failed to achieve a goal that you have set forth for yourself.

However, if you are the passenger (in a car), then you are taking a passive role. Overall, this dream symbol is an indication of your dependence and degree of control you have on your life

To notice your waist in your dream, suggests that you need to watch your diet or weight. The dream may also be a pun on “wasting” time, money, or some aspect of your life.

To dream that you are in a (super)market, represents some emotional of physical need that you are currently lacking in your life. You may be in need of nurturance and some fulfillment. Consider the specific items that you are shopping for. Alternatively, the market signifies frugality. 

Alrights. Fine. Let’s talk abt life a bit. There are too many weird things happening ard me anyway. Like how a trip to Jurong Island ytd for the Chemex is really making me think about next half. Like the next half life. I thought I knew what I wanted. But then again, after talking to dafei seems like not so true at all. The choice between design and chemistry. And going Canada to continue studying. Is tearing me for the most tormenting decisions I have to make.

On top, I dunno why, but my tiredness from lab is killing half my patience away and I think is really bad. And I do start to realise I have a problem trying to recall things of fair recent.

Am I not trying hard enough to live life?

if the heart has found a home, all shall be with peace with the lucky.

I wish the lucky boy he is with his true love now.

no one gave me this.

只是，每当衰到谷底时，哭到心里酸到不行时，沮丧到觉得没希望时，总会突然有一个天使来解救。

真的很开心，我知道不是偶然的。:) 希望这次的短住，我们的友谊会加深。不必去理会周遭的一切。

I am reminded of this quote again.

所以为了能够让她继续留在我的人生，我不再开口对她说爱。我把对她的爱，放在心里， 努力体会着她一直都很努力的人生。

Actually I am really looking forward to life now. Because I do know that alot of things I wished for, and want to accomplish, are going to happen now. It’s going to be very tough, but I know at the end when I look back, I will be glad I did.

Awaiting takeoff.